Coping With Covid & Life During The Pandemic

For me, things started to get eerie in February, reading headlines from overseas, hoping the virus would never make it to America, and if it does, surely we will be more than prepared. Thinking it may have a minimal effect on my business with our more vulnerable clientele. At the time, this conversation was a laughing matter with meme warriors working overtime. As a person who has struggled with anxiety in life, I tried to believe it wasn’t a big deal. Weeks later, all non-essential businesses, including salons, were mandated to close by the end of the day. With little time to prepare for such a drastic event, the stress alone is a health crisis. 

Still getting established as a salon, there has been a lot to overcome. I tried my best to support my team and share resources with other female entrepreneurs, encouraging them to return even stronger. But deep down inside, I was thinking—This shouldn’t happen, when you put everything you have, your entire life into a dream and the whole world closes. Usually overworked and fulfilled to the max with my passion, income, identity, and entire social world wrapped up into one beautifully packaged career. Living without it so suddenly was shocking, but not as unnerving as the way I was feeling without something that should only represent a part of me. Having just celebrated our first salon anniversary, closing our doors was the furthest thing from our minds. As a community of stylists who had suddenly found ourselves unemployed with rent and bills still due both personally and professionally, we were anxious. It felt as if the entire beauty industry was in retrograde. So here I am with the question facing so many hairstylists and maybe other displaced workers as well— Who am I without my career? 

My initial response was typical for me; over-analyze and go on an information binge. This pattern almost always ends in an unhealthy spiral of thoughts. It’s physically and mentally exhausting. The more energy I spent trying to find solutions, the less energy remained for my wellbeing.

why losing “normal” isn’t the worst outcome of 2020

I was so deeply immersed in my hair career that I hadn’t spent enough time experiencing life itself. It’s easy to get lost in your job when it is your passion. I decided to start paying more attention to what I needed to be healthy. I started slowing down to be present throughout each day. Accepting both good and bad emotions, without judgment, and then letting them go. I learned what makes me feel good in the moment vs. what is good for me in the long run and incorporated a healthy amount of each. I focused on positive coping skills rather than using bad habits as a distraction. Each day, being met with new challenges helped me learn to improvise and make the best decision with the information available at the moment. (This is a difficult skill for a planner such as myself)

When I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, I remind myself that no one is without loss during this time. We are all collectively experiencing this unprecedented event together. Instead of feeling sorry for my expectations of what life “should” be like, I can sit back and look at the world around me. In what ways can I learn from these experiences? In what ways can I support the people who need it most during this time? Consider creating joyful moments that don’t require spending money or going to large events. One day we will look back, realizing these were morally defining moments for all of us. If you are in the position to give a little grace, there is no better time.

Even then, I couldn’t help wondering if and when things would return to normal. And more importantly, was normal good? Were my patterns worth repeating? Or was I caught up in the symbolic hamster wheel of society? We saw the best and worst of ourselves in 2020— we saw our resilience, innovation, and compassion come together to make some of the biggest strides in history. Only to be met with corruption, the largest shift in wealth/poverty, media misinformation, and for moments it seemed as if the entire universe had turned on itself. After extensive mental debates considering if our country and the rest of the world are making the best decisions to end the pandemic as quickly as possible. No one actually knows. What’s certain is we have a once in a lifetime opportunity to take a snapshot of our lives and decide how to shift our future. Whether the economy tanks or recovers— what’s happening here may be more important than printed paper. An in-depth look into our daily lives and the way we treat each other. The way we destroy our planet and every sacred thing within it. 

With nothing to busy ourselves with, we’re forced to look at the home and life we have created. Is it full of love and happiness, even without a flashy career and flourishing social life?…

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Photo by Oladimeji Odunsi